She Collects Sea Shells by the Sea Shore

Across all the beaches of Australia, my mother amassed quite a collection of seashells. She found several she wanted to snatch on the beaches of Fitzroy Island as well, but all the signs there forbade the removal of shells and coral, and Mum obeyed, obediant person that she is.

So here, Mum, is everything you had to leave behind that day. Print this out and stick it wherever you’ve got all those shells (ignore the skid mark — ooh, that downunder cuisine really works a number on the stomach):

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