“They stamped it, didn’t they? Those Damn Gideons.”

I figure since there’s gonna be a Bible in a drawer in every hotel I’ll be staying at, now’s a good opportunity to finally read the god damn thing, and as an added bonus, I won’t have to carry it around with me. I started with Genesis, because really, how can you start anywhere else?

I always knew the Old Testament God was supposed to be mean, but I figured that meant there’d be a lot of smiting of, and child-sacrifice from, murderers and adulterers and blasphemers (like myself)–but that’s grade school meanness compared to how This Guy really is. When these people in Shinar start building the Tower of Babel and God decides their accomplishment is a bit too impressive, he fixes it by spreading humanity across the Earth (or across EurAfricAsiAustralasia, since God didn’t know about the Americas yet) and giving them a bunch of different languages. So now they can’t understand each other, and can’t work together, and therefore can’t pose a threat to his rule. That’s a real dick move there, God.